Saying a goodbye, and starting over.

Since I last blogged, and I was on the road to the Disney Princess half marathon, lots has happened.

My mom was in the hospital at the time, and she went home, and I spent sometime with her, took her to chemo, etc.  Just did the things you do when you have a family member dealing with cancer.  You help.

Spring break hit, and my daughter had minor surgery.  Minor, but still it required caregiving.

Shortly after that, I was down for the count for a few days with a  kidney stone.  I kept having that feeling like "I'll start again next week.  I will."  Then I didn't.  I did participate in a 5K to benefit my mother's research clinic at MD Anderson, though I walked with my cousin Britta, and we talked about getting off our asses and training so we could do the Princess Half together.

Then my birthday was coming, and I thought, ok, this is the turning point.  This is it.  I am 37 tomorrow, I'm going to get up and start this again, and I'm going to finish it.  That was April 10.

I got a phone call that night around 10 that my mom had fallen, hurt her leg, and was on the way to the ER.  I joined her there, and as the clock struck midnight and it turned into April 11, my birthday, my mom started to have trouble breathing.

It got pretty serious from there.  Her leg became a secondary concern as her heart and lung distress were the main focus of her care team.  After several days in ICU on a ventilator, she was breathing on her own and deemed stable enough to go ahead with surgery to repair her hip.  The other option was having her lie in a bed with a broken hip... which isn't a good option.  No way to live.  I spent many days and nights with her at the hospital, rotating with family members so we could go home and get some actual sleep.

After the surgery, she landed herself back in ICU, was doing ok.  We fully expected that she'd go home, and I had made plans to move my office there (on a good day in no traffic, 45 minutes from my home) and work from her home several days a week so I could help her, keep her company, and just be there so she wouldn't be alone.  I was ready.  I feared that I might not do a good enough job, but I was ready.  My hope was that once she was back home, her depression would improve, her appetite would come back, and I could nurse her back into a happy place in life.

On April 30, her team of doctors asked the family to sign a "Do Not Resuscitate" order for her, as her condition had declined and would continue to decline.  There was just too much cancer and scar tissue and the whole situation boiled down to this: her body was shutting down.  She was placed in the Acute Palliative Care Unit, so that she could be free of any lines, tubes, and monitors that weren't necessary for her comfort.  We stayed there with her, prayed with her, watched her decline, and hoped that she would die peacefully.

She did.  I was there.  She passed away so simply.

There was crying, funeral planning, staring into space, realization that I was left on earth at the age of 37 with no parents.  There was a lot of staring into space.  A lot of smiling and comforting the people who hadn't been around her for the last 6 months, who had no idea of her rapid decline.  They would hug me and tell me they were sorry, but I knew they were hurting too-- she was their friend.

The day before she died I had a well-woman checkup, complete with bloodwork.  Today I finally spoke with the nurse about my bloodwork, which (no surprise) revealed that I needed to cut the crap and get some exercise.

So raise your glass to starting over.  I feel like I've reached a point in life where I have closed the door on mom's cancer-- something that loomed over us for so long.  Something that sucked time away from us.  Something that kept us chained to a hospital because we didn't want to leave her.

Losing my father to heart attack/obesity/diabetes taught me that I want to be strong and healthy for my children, to not leave them early, to not have them go through the terror and tragedy of *BLAMMO* losing a parent.

Losing my mother to cancer-- but more importantly, being graced by her presence for 15 years when she was "supposed to" make it maybe 18 months-- has taught me the importance of being healthy and keeping your body in a state where it can fight disease to the best of its ability.  In a state where it can handle rough treatments, surgeries, and allow me to come out on top when things happen.

I will start again, and I will not let this be a hinderance to my goals of running that Princess Half Marathon : )

Week 1, Day 2 of C25k.

Finished!  Still definitely a challenge, but I'm happy that my little podcast narrator is sweet and tells me "this is your last run, you can do it!".  Afterward, when I was stretching, I was joined by several mosquitoes.  SERIOUSLY?  YUCK!

I was pretty sore when I woke up yesterday, but it was a good sore, where you know you gave your body a challenge.  It's good to feel like that again : )

Guess what I put on the calendar today?

It's one year from tomorrow!

Disney Princess Prep Day 1: Starting Over!

Life, it's always getting in the way of things.

My mom's in the hospital, my husband is working long hours, and my busy season is about to kick up.  These would be fantastic excuses to not get my butt out there... but they're also really good reasons to get my butt out there.

So this morning, I went ahead and got my butt out there.  I took the little dog too.

I re-started my Couch to 5k program so I can begin preparing to become a runner again.  I liked life when I was a runner!  It gave me something to focus on, some time to myself every couple of days when I had a perfectly good reason to not be in front of a computer (or doing whatever).  I always felt good after finishing a workout-- not necessarily physically fantastically good (there were times I wanted to fall into a pile halfway through), but I always felt accomplished.  The sky's the limit.  There's no "Ok, I'm done!".  You can't "beat the game" when it comes to running.  I slept better.  I was hungry for better things.  There was more "happy" even when there was sad.

Clothes fit beautifully, of course, and I totally wouldn't mind getting to a less flabby Chesty Pear state.

So... today's the first day of the rest of this year.

I used my trusty Robert Ullrey podcast to prompt me when to run and walk... plus I just like his encouraging words.  He knows when you're getting tired and he tells you it's okay, that you can do it.    I don't need a pushy drill seargeant telling me what to do, I need nice Robert.

Pain: My right butt muscle, my right knee, my left leg muscle that goes from my ankle to the back of the knee... all of these body parts were calling my name this morning.  I had a little bit of the side-stomach-cramp starting up near the end of the workout but for the most part, I was able to move past it and feel good.  At the finish, most of the agitation was in the right side of my lower back.  It's tight.  I need to work on it.  It probably has most to do with me slouching in everyday life.  I'm pretty hunchy.  I think it's the boobs.

No equipment failure or techincal difficulties.  The dog behaved alright and didn't go on the death-lunge for too many squirrels.  Right now my cat's sitting on top of my computer mouse, but that's about it for animal interference this morning. 

In honor of my current goal, I wore the mickey mouse shirt I got at Disney this Christmas : )

I have to admit, knowing I was only going about 2 miles today, and knowing that 13.1 miles is a lot further, I'm a little scared of what it'll feel like to be running that far.  I remember how dreadfully far that 10K was last September.  That's less than HALF of a half-marathon.

The way I look at it, I know a lot of runners.  I know a lot of very determined, successful dedicated runners who started out at a point of fitness that's below where I am now.  I know a lot of people who are running long distances RIGHT NOW (this past weekend for instance) who never would have imagined they could do these things... and then they said, "Hey, Kasey can do it... so can I!"

I see them on Facebook.  Theyu're doing incerdible things and changing their lives in such positive ways.  They've stuck with it and reached great goals, so can I.

Here's to the dream ; )

240. Enough.

Four months ago I was blogging about being unmotivated, so it's no surprise that here we are, new year and all, and my scale has hit 240.

I can feel it in my body. Feel it in my thighs, my upper arms, my abs, my back fat. I can see it in my face. I long for the days of 220 when I loved how I felt, I slept better, I just felt happier.

It's completely obvious why this has happened... And it's nobody's fault but mine. I have let other things become a priority over my health.

There are days when I don't even eat a real true serving of fruit or vegetables. I can't really remember the last time I cooked dinner at home. Most of what's in my fridge is leftovers from somewhere we went out to eat for dinner... And I don't even want them.

Even my dog is gaining weight, lol.

Why am I waiting for "tomorrow"?

Clearly I'm capable of this. I've done it before. I know I can do it, but I always find some little excuse to rationalize myself out of it... Here are some great ones:

I'm tired.
What if I start running and my belly fat is too floppy?
What if I look stupid?
What if my shoes don't feel good?
I don't feel like taking the dog, but I feel guilty leaving him at home.
I'm not hydrated enough.
I need to shower, but I don't wanna shower before a run. That's dumb, I'll just have to shower again.
What if I do something and I hurt my back?
I need to check my email first.
What if I run and then I'm too tired to get my work done?
I can't get my gps watch to beep for my intervals. Is too frustrating.

I could go on, but I won't.

Once when I was reading "Runner's World" I saw an ad for the Disney Princess half marathon, and I was so excited I felt my eyes tear up a smidge... It would be so cool to feel all accomplished and empowered AND be with a bunch of cool chicks at Disney World! He'll, it's making me a little misty even now.

Maybe I need a goal.

The next Disney Princess Half Marathon is about a year from now.

This is attainable. I can do this. I deserve to be able to take time to myself 3-4 times a week to exercise, stretch my legs, and work toward something I want. I am strong, I am capable. I will allow myself to put health and fitness above work, and will become a runner again.

Even if my mother is sick, even if someone close to me passes away, even if work is difficult or frustrating, even if I want to keep sleeping, even if the dog is whiny and it's cold/hot/humid/windy... I can do this. The hour or two I will spend on my health each day is important and deserves priority.

I will not allow others to rationalize my skipping a workout. I will not be afraid to run in strange places, or even on vacation.

I will do this, I CAN DO THIS.

Please encourage me.

So, the Gruene 10K has come and gone. Let's talk about motivation.

Lots of things happening since May.

I had a pretty ridiculous bout with back injuries (injured one side... then the other, that was fun).

Then, as it often does, it got really hot in Houston.  REALLY hot.  So hot that when you got up way before the sun to exercise, it was still ridiculously hot and crazy.  I lost the oomph, didn't do much in the way of running, got discouraged.

Then it got busy with my daughter having all kinds of needs for me to run her around throughout the day and evenings, which left me exhausted and feeling very "NO" about extra activities.  She did try out for volleyball, though, which got us both up and running for a little while.  She needed to get a little conditioning under her belt, because she hadn't been able to attend the conditioning camps that a lot of the other girls had been to (she had a super-travelin' summer).  I was pretty proud of her for having the drive, at age 14, to get up before the sun to go running with her big old slow stepmom.  She was able to run that mile during volleyball tryouts in plenty of time : )

Then school started.  Both kids in a new school (one high school, one middle school).  New carpool routines, new schools, and again... exhausting.  I think I worked out consistently for a good week!  Then I came up with the "too much to do" excuses.

Then my grandma took ill and died.  It bears repeating that I really, really loved my grandma... and the fact that she suddenly wasn't going to be with us was personally devastating to me, even though she was 90 and I know she was ready to go.

Then I got sick, like sinuses-really-bad-cold, can't-stop-coughing, i-don't-effing-CARE sick.  Lingering cough for WEEKS.  So sick in fact, that I even had to reschedule some work stuff due to illness, which I am not fond of doing.  I don't make money when I don't work, so let's just say, I like to work.

Then I got a notice in the mail from my insurance company that they will indeed NOT cover a breast reduction for this Chesty Pear.  *facepalm*

When you reach the point of "I don't care" so much that you're not cooking even one meal a day, and you just want food to magically appear, and you want to get out of the house at dinner time because you've been hanging out all day staring at the same four walls (when you weren't sleeping, that is)... or stress is making you hungry for all the wrong things... or you just flat out aren't making time for yourself to incorporate any sort of exercise...

Sometimes you just need a little something to whack you on the head and tell you to snap out of it and realize that these are the same problems lots of people face on a daily basis when it comes to motivation.  You know what they say about excuses...

The Gruene 10K was coming up, and I was really just thinking about ditching it because I haven't been running at all, and was pretty much feeling like a big-fat-blob, and still coughing like a bandit and pretty much sucking on cough drops 24/7.  Well go figure, I had gone ahead and scheduled work in Gruene-- and it really couldn't be rescheduled.  I headed up there, checked into my hotel, and wasn't planning to even try that 10K because 6 miles is FAR, and I had just not been breathing well at all.

My sweet friends Emily, Daniel and Roberta were coming to the Gruene 10K as well.  I went on Friday evening and picked up my racer packet, and decided I'd try.  Even if I walked the whole thing, I should try.  Emily & Daniel would be walking, so I knew that at least I could hang with them if I needed to.

I walked with Emily and Daniel a little, then my legs just wanted to run, dammit.

I alternated walking and jogging for the remainder of the race, and finished it without a hitch.  My left foot was asleep for most of the third mile, but the feeling came back eventually ; )

It was inspiring to see people much heavier than me, much older than me... passing me by, or way ahead of me on their way back from the turnaround.  Toward the end of mile 4 or 5, when I was definitely on the home stretch, I turned off of Albert Street in a little neighborhood.  Like a beacon of hope for tired legs, there was a street sign.

Josephine Street.  What are the odds?  Of all the things a street could be called...

That was my grandmother's name.  It was like she was cheering me on from Heaven.  I cried a little and decided I would run all of Josephine street : )

So HEY, it's MAY!

Clearly, I'm a very goal-oriented person when it comes to the whole running thing.  Lately I've been really easily distracted from my routine, and not running as much as I wish I would... clearly no one's fault but mine.  Time management isn't easy, if it was easy we'd all be fabulously organized and on perfect schedules, right?

I can feel my body slipping back into the land o' flab when I don't exercise but sometimes life and task-accomplishment can be overwhelming, I mean who hasn't experienced that before?  I think we all go through phases of falling off the proverbial wagons and getting down on ourselves.  That's been me for the past couple of months.  I know that when I don't exercise the moody, annoying, overwhelmed Chesty Pear rears her head... which is good for no one and all.  So hey, I should fix that, huh?

We recently went on a vacation to West Texas, and on our way back home stopped in Kerville for the evening.  In our hotel lobby were lots of Hill Country brochures, on in particular for Gruene, Texas-- a place I've never officially been, but always wanted to stop in.  I'd also been riding on the back of a motorcycle for 6 days, and was itching to stretch my legs... and inside the Gruene brochure I noticed that they have a 10K in September.  I checked my schedule, and sure enough had the weekend free.

You can probably guess what happened next, I decided to sign up for this run, and get back on the exercise wagon.  I made that decision in mid-April, and it only took me a month (ooh, that's hard to admit) to get my shoes on and get my butt outside and run to start kind of training to be able to go the distance.  I've never run a 10K before, and I'd really like to.

So that's my goal : )

Since I have my big fancy running watch with GPS that's all programmable and whatnot, I decided to take the c25k program and double up on it.  I programmed in each of the first four workouts, but instead of the normal number of intervals, I doubled them.  I didn't start at the beginning, but at week 3 (intervals of 1:30 and 3:00, alternating) because I know my body and knew it'd be manageable.

It took me just under an hour to do 4.119 miles and I topped out at a phenomenally tortoise-like speed of 7.4 mph : )

BUT... I didn't give up, I kept going even when I was convinced my Timex Global Trainer was stuck in some sort of interval-rep warp and not acting right.

Today, I didn't want to be someone who makes an excuse about why they can't do something, I wanted to be someone who could finish something and post that flippin' sucker up on facebook...lol.  I know it's totally goofy and kind of attention-whorey, but when I'm getting tired and feeling like stopping before the end it's totally a motivating factor.  I really appreciate the friends on FB who cheer me on!

It was probably helpful that the weather was absolutely perfect.  Thanks God!

This week I'll try and repeat that workout on Wednesday and Friday as well... then move forward to the next workout.

I have to tell you, I really feel like after logging 4 miles I should be magically skinny by evening.  Holy crap, that's kind of far!!!

So I think I'm gonna start a little garden this year.

I've been reading and hounding my gardener friends for details lately, and I think I'm going to start a few little gardens this spring, hopefully turn out some herbs, peppers, squash, tomatoes, cucumbers, melons and pumpkins this year.  I've generally had a pretty green thumb, but haven't really ever successfully tried food plants.

So far, I've started some seeds in a little flat (indoors, because for some reason it's decided to be snowy in Houston this year).  We've bought some seeds and are planning to start some pumpkin seeds in time to harvest for jack-o-lanterns, too.

Since we're having wacky snow possibilities and hard freezing right now, the seeds are indoors on their starter flat, with a heating pad below the water reservoir.  Because I'm a goofball.

Surprisingly enough, the cats have completely not even bothered to check it out, other than snuggling next to the heating pad now and again.  It's in their favorite warm window spot... and unbeknownst to them, there are catnip seeds in there!!!

I'm also encouraging the family to help save stuff that we can repurpose for gardening use.  Tonight we had little ice creams (the single-serving containers-- not the pint ones), and I rinsed them and set them aside for seed starting.  The little tiny containers are a good way for me to handle portion control when it comes to eating ice cream!

Over the winter holidays I built a worktable and hutch for use outside, because in the past I think it's annoyed my lovely husband when I bring the good old potting soil into the kitchen and go to work with my flowers.  He's a little cleaner than I am, but I'm no complainer.  It's kind of fantastic to have a guy around who really cleans up!  Now I can be as messy and dirty as I like in my very own little backyard : )  Please note the fancy worklight I installed for after the sun goes down.

There's a shelf along the bottom to add stability and store stuff.

I've even started collecting organic trashy stuff for composting!  We'll see how all this goes.  I figure if the composting fails miserably, hey, I'll just throw it away in the actual trash.  If it works, then WHEE!  Fantastic free fertilizer for my little planties.

If you'd like to research some easy gardening, please check into Square Foot Gardening.  It can be done in a backyard or on an apartment balcony, you just need containers, sunlight, and water.

There are a zillion websites that will help you decide what and when to plant, but the cutest by far is Sprout Robot.  It'll even e-mail you when it's time to start planting new stuff!

Here are some books I bought/inherited that I've found helpful.  You can also find them at the library-- ours has a whole section on local gardening.  The Square Foot Gardening book is grrrrreat!

Here goes nothin'.  I'm looking forward to trying all of this out!  While I'm not sure it'll actually "save" money as opposed to buying veggies at the grocery store, I do think it'll be pretty satisfying, and give me some reason to spend more time outdoors kind of communing with nature... plus I'm one of those nurturers, and we definitely don't need anymore animals.  We'll see how good of a seed mommy I can be...lol.

The Holidays: Tough to stay focused!

So, once the holiday season (and coincidentally my insanely busy season at work) hit, I didn't run nearly as much and probably fell back into some less-than-desirable habits.  This happens to a lot of people, and I really try not to let "food choices" determine whether I've had a great day or not.  Moving toward a healthier lifestyle is about a lifetime of making better choices.  I try to keep the attitude that every day is new, and even when I slack on the super-healthy choices... I've still come a long way from where I started, when I weighed about 260 pounds and was feeding my family lots of bad-fatty/sugary foods on a regular basis.

Even though I feel that I've "slacked" over the past few months, I can look at the way our lifestyle has changed and say that we're still moving forward.  The way we cook is different, the things in our pantry and fridge are still, for the most part, the things that should be there.

We went out of town for the week of Thanksgiving, and I ran while we were in Missouri.  I ran a little bit once we got back, but then the cold weather arrived and it was just... brrrr.  I allowed myself a little break, thinking I'd hit the gym more regularly.  That didn't happen.  My daughter no longer had crack-o-dawn volleyball practice, so I did a lot more sleeping in!

The good news is, my clothes all still fit : )

I headed back to the gym today, walked as fast as I could on the treadmill for 3 miles with a little incline (about 40 minutes), then did a weight circuit.  It felt reallllly great to get my body moving again!!!  It was also great to exercise and watch some mindless tv ("Fashion Police", which my husband hates).  It had been so long since I'd been to the gym (although I had been running) that the trainer had to re-activate my FitLinxx account!  God bless the YMCA.  I love those people.  No questions asked, no making me feel guilty.  Just a welcome back and a smile!

If you've lapsed in your workout routines, or indulged a little more than you feel you should have over the holiday season... Please keep a positive attitude!  Remember that every day is new.  Every single day is a day that you can begin making better choices.  Improvement doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing, it simply needs to be BETTER.  If small steps are what you need, then take small steps.


Sometimes when we decide we're going to overhaul our lives, it's a huge step and it's really difficult... which leads to feeling badly about yourself when you don't "make it".  Revise your plan, and change one small thing each day.  Be in this for life, not just until you hit a goal : )

Viva Las Vegas! Running the strip!

My husband and I celebrated our sixth anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas : )  I packed all my running gear and was looking forward to running on the Vegas strip!

It was really nice weather for running in the mornings.  On Monday I ran (mixed in walking because I knew it was a long way) about 5 miles, on Wednesday Jack joined me for a 5-ish mile walk, and then on Friday before we left I ran the strip again.  It was sooooo much fun, there was so much to see, and I wish I could run there all the time.  If you ever do this, be sure to go before people start waking up.  You don't want to try and run the strip when it's full of people, it will just frustrate you like rush-hour traffic.  I woke up at 7 most days and was out there by about 7:30.  I don't think there's a night-time that would work, since people are out and about all night long.

I went for another run on Monday morning after we got back home (I worked reallly late on Saturday, so Sunday morning wasn't happening), trying out a new park in my area of town.  I went about 2.5 miles, and was feeling very tired and heavy-- yet again, I should have left earlier.  WHEN WILL I LEARN?!?!  It gets hot when the sun comes up, even in October.  Argh.  I didn't run today because I had to be up at 5 to accompany a family member to surgery, so if I'm sleeping in my own bed tonight, I'm planning to get up and go tomorrow morning.

It's been a really long time since I saw a drop in my weight, but I have to say, I'm feeling fantastic.  I don't feel as super-flabby as I used to, and my body is happy when I give it a workout.

Here's a quick little happy from Vegas.  Man, I love that guy!

Just what I needed to hear...

I picked up the November issue of Runner's World magazine today and was thumbing through it while eating lunch. Today was a really long day, and after my run last night (which was one of those "am I made of lead?" kind of things) I was having one of those "am I doing this right?" brainstorms in my head. It was good to see Runner's World looking at me from the news stand in the grocery store... I haven't read it in a while, and I always find some great stories in it. I remember the first time I ever read it, sitting in a spa in Las Vegas reading about Matt Long, a NYC firefighter who ran a marathon after having been run over and shattered to pieces by a bus... in this issue I saw an ad for his book, The Long Run. I'll definitely be picking that one up!

At any rate, I've mentined before that I'm a slow gal. I'm generally happy just to be putting one foot in front of the other and completing my distance goals without walking most of the time. I've thought that at some point I'll look into improving time, but for now my goals are more completion and distance-oriented. Last night at the park I saw my friend Jan-- a total sweetheart and avid runner. She was there with a friend of hers doing speedwork, I passed her a few times as I was plugging along on my first Bridge-to-10K workout. As I was running, I wondered if I was doing this right. Am I supposed to be working on speed? Should I work on speed for my body? How on earth do I go about working on speed? Will the world end if I just keep up the slow and steady?

In Runner's World on page 36, there it was. "Tips for beginners from an easygoing coach" (Jeff Galloway's "The Starting Line" column).

Fact or Fiction? Whatever your pace, there's no such thing as running too slow.


FACT. Running is a free-form activity; we alone determine how fast, how far, and how long we run. The empowerment of running is open to anyone, at any speed. Your definition of "slow" may change as you grow more fit, and will change again as you grow older.

Thanks Jeff : ) That's just the information my heart was looking for today.
There are some interesting articles this month... one about shoes, one about bras (kudos to RW for not neglecting the chesty runners!), one about gluten, and a pretty compelling story about Bart Yasso... who among other things was an alcoholic who turned into a running legend with the help of a dog. There's also a story about a girl whose brother suffered a heart attack while running a marathon, so she's picking up where he left off and training to run one in his honor.  It's a good read!

...and for my next trick, I will start the Bridge to 10K program.

I'm setting out this evening to do the first of the Bridge-to-10k program runs!  I think it's something like jog 10 minutes, walk 1 minute, then repeat 3 or 4 times.  I'm looking forward to being able to finish this : )

So last week, I ran FOUR miles : )

Last Thursday I decided I was going to finish a 3.5 mile run.  I finished 3, why not 3.5?  Well as usual, mile 1 was the hardest, mile 2 was also a push (I had super lead feet and was feeling soooooo sluggggish).  You know, 3 wasn't all that bad... and when I rounded the curve after that third mile, I was feeling very much on top of the world like Wonder Woman.

So when I got to the 3.5 mark, I felt very "oh why not?" and finished 4 miles... and felt QUITE ACCOMPLISHED!  I had finished, this was definitely a personal distance record, and I hadn't walked any of it.

Runkeeper posts to my facebook page, so of course I had congratulations and stuff.  I also had a couple of remarks from my runner friends that I needed to not add so much distance so quickly-- especially since I am a "clydesdale", "athena", or whatever cutesy name you'd like to give to a big-boned, heavy runner with several pounds to spare.  Evidently upping your distance too quickly increases the chances of stress fracture.  After freaking out a little bit because I was afraid I was breaking some important bone by being awesome, I decided to calm it down and just be smarter from here on out.

Whee!  That being said, I went out this morning and did 2.5 miles.  We've been having some of the most incredible weather EVER-- that's right EVER-- around here, and it felt wonderful to be outdoors this morning.  Even after running 4 miles last week, the first part of my run is "uggghhhhhh".  If yours is this way too, don't worry because you've totally got someone who feels your pain.

I ran 3 miles again yesterday : )

This felt good because it meant the first time wasn't just a fluke.  Yaaaay!  Next time out, I'm going for 3.5.

An Incredibly Inspiring Video...

This popped up on Facebook, posted by a couple of my friends.  I clicked the link, figuring it would be talking about someone's 120 pound weight loss journey... but did not expect to be crying like a baby at my desk 2 minutes later, just wanting to give this guy a big hug.

Some of us underestimate ourselves... and some of us believe, move forward, and blow the stereotypical "you can't do that" business right out of the water.  You can probably imagine which of the two categories this guy goes into ; )  After the last paragraph of yesterday's blog post, it was really cool to see someone with a similar attitude.

Don't skip this one.  Take 4 minutes to watch it.



If I've somehow messed that up and the video doesn't embed, here's the YouTube link: My 120 Pound Journey

Ben's also got a blog you can look into, if you want to learn more about him: Ben Does Life

I ran THREE MILES today!

I ran three miles today without stopping!

This came as somewhat of a surprise to me, because quite frankly week 8 of c25k has really been kicking my ass.  The last few times I've gone out to run, I have just not been able to push myself to keep up a good pace or finish the run...

Today I woke up and honestly didn't even really want to get dressed and go to the park.  I felt icky.  My tummy was blech.  I was not breathing well.  I felt like I really haven't been making progress at all, and in fact I was afraid I was regressing and might have to go back a few weeks if I wanted to complete this c25k thing.  I was also down because my runs in the allotted times were not nearing 3 miles, they were closer to 2 or 2.5 miles.  At this rate, no way am I ever going to be able to make it 10k in November.  *sad panda*

Waaaah.  Crybaby me.

So I woke up, put on my running stuff, filled up the water bottle, got in the car, and drove to the park.  The sun was coming up so bright and pretty, and my breathing medicine was starting to work.  I decided NOT to use my c25k app on the phone today, and instead just GO (no 5 minute warmup walk) and run until I'd run 3 miles.  I told myself "I can do this.  This is do-able.  Slow and steady wins the race."

Slow and steady I went.  FOR THREE MILES.  I turned on the runkeeper app so I could hear my distance and pace-- which ended up being right around 13:20 per mile.  This is significantly slower than I'd like to be, but for now I'm working on completion, not speed ; )  Mile 1 was not super easy, nor was mile 2.  Surprisingly enough, Mile 3 was when I really started getting into a nice rhythm and felt my body propel itself without my having to think about each step, one foot in front of the other.  Don't get me wrong-- I was so glad to be done and to have achieved a 3-mile stretch... but I'm not looking at 3.5, 4, or 4.5 miles as such a daunting task anymore.  I'm looking forward to breaking those barriers as well-- something I have never done before in my LIFE.

It isn't easy, but it's worth it.

You just have to DO IT.  There's no easy way, and there's really no easy workout.  You have to come to an understanding with yourself that if you want the results, you have to put in the work.  You have to stop telling yourself stuff like "I'll start next week" and make changes in your life that allow you to make time for it.  Not "have time" for it, make time.

It doesn't really and truly ever get "easier".  If you exercise early, it's always a drag getting out of your snuggly bed.  You just have to reach a point where you decide that  you only have so long on this earth, and you're the only one who gets to decide if you're going to live it happily and healthily or otherwise. 

It's not easy to get up and get going and make it a priority to exercise, but it's also not easy to live your life with the consequences that accompany an inactive, indulgent lifestyle.  You get to choose which one you want to live with. 

Can I run a 10K by the end of November?

My friend Michelle sent me an e-mail asking me if I wanted to run a 10K with her the weekend before Thanksgiving. I should point out that Michelle has already run a 10K, and is much tinier and faster than big giant me. Love her to pieces, but I think she might get awfully bored running with me.

My first thought was "Um, are you insane? I'm only running like 2 or 2.5 miles these days. I can't do SIX."

The more I talked about it with my other little runner-friends, the more realistic it actually kind of seems. I just finished up week 7 of c25k, and in two weeks I'll be at the end of that program.

There's a "Bridge to 10K" program that is a 6-week program, so *technically* I'd have plenty of time to get into gear and be running the times/distances needed to prepare for a 10K. It's similar to c25k, I've looked over it... and I know I would be able to run for 10 minutes, then walk... times 4. Who's to say I couldn't finish that program?

My friend Kelli also mentioned that once you're up to 3 miles, you can do two 3-mile runs a week, then one "long" run-- adding 1/2 mile each week. Quite frankly, I'll be happy to just get comfortable running a 3-mile distance again. I may take a week between the two programs and just do 3-mile runs; not focusing on time but on distance. We'll see, I'll have to get all nerdy and plot it out on the calendar ; )

I'm happy to say I've finished up week 7 today! There's a counter at the bottom of the map page for that 10K, and it's 70 days. 10 weeks. Why the heck not?

"Rungry". This is a word I first saw my friend Kristi use on her blog about the hunger you experience once you start running a lot. I can't tell you for sure whether it's runger or PMS or some horrid combination of the two, but WOWSERS I have just been sooo hungry this week. I'm doing my best to keep up on the healthy snacks, and get plenty of water... but I was at the mall yesterday and had that "must have pretzel... must have pretzel... must have salty delicious pretzel and real sugary coca-cola" feeling. I gave in because you know what? I've been kicking ass at this whole running gig.


Let's talk about the scale.

So back on August 1, I was hanging tough at 235. That first week I decided to get myself in gear, the scale went down 6 pounds... which I know was not all fat loss, but when you go from "eating like a pimply teenager" to watching what you put into your mouth, there are some changes-for-the-better. The following week the scale went down 3 pounds, and I was ringing in at 226. Nowadays I'm hanging right at 224-225. I can definitely feel the changes where the fit of my clothing is concerned! HOORAY! I better, with all this running.

I've not been getting to the gym on a regular schedule like I'd like to, but I hit a point last week where I just really felt like my body needed a break. I'm all for the "I CAN DO IT!" mentality, but I also think we should listen to our bodies and give them a day (or a few days) off once in a while when the fatigue is really setting in. I was working a lot too, and we had the kids' first week of school, getting started in extra-curriculars and getting schedules down took precedence over me getting myself into the car and to the gym. My husband was out of town and I had some mom-family-stuff to do. Excuses? Yes... but reality. I managed to keep on my running schedule, which I kind of consider to be my bare minimum.

This last week, I can tell that I'm missing my strength training at the gym. I'd like to get back to that next week. I need to stay POWERFUL!

Speaking of powerful, my little cheerleader-man has been out in full force. He's just so cute, cheering on anyone who's running, running along with them. Today we were walking at the same part of the trail and he introduced himself-- his name is Yung and he came to America from Vietnam in 1975.

Rainy Morning = Treadmill Running

Background: My last run was Week 6 Day 2 of c25k on Monday. It's Friday. It's been a big busy week, and I have not made the time for myself to run. Last night I was telling myself that I really needed to make the time for running today, so that I don't get off track with my c25k goals... and also, so I don't feel like crap.

So I woke up this morning in the dark to the sounds of roaring thunder and some flashes of lightning (oh and to my alarm, and my husband Jack shaking my shoulder to wake me up so I would turn off my alarm. I'm a heavy sleeper).

I was immediately not happy, because this meant I probably couldn't go to the park and finish off week 6 today. I got up and got dressed anyway, because at this point it wasn't raining. Once I was dressed, it started pouring so I went back to bed in my running clothes...lol. It was a nice little snuggle-time, though, I won't deny! Jack's alarm clock went off eventually, and I snoozed through the rain until he was done with his shower. I decided I was going to run no matter what, that I wasn't going to let rain be an excuse. I know that I'll start feeling fat and crabby if I don't get some good exercise in. I don't want that to happen.

I put on my shoes, drove toward the park because the rain seemed to be letting up. No dice, it was definitely raining at the park. I considered running in the rain, but then decided I have a perfectly good YMCA membership and maybe I should try running on the treadmill today! *furrowed brow and mad face because I hate the treadmill*

To add perceived insult to injury, I cued up w6d3 on my Evo and saw that it was not really intervals of running.

It was 25 minutes of straight running. How on earth was I going to EVER accomplish that with having "rested" for 3 days since my last run, which had nothing remotely near 25 minutes of straight running? IMPOSSIBLE. I was surely going to suffer, but alas, I decided to try. I told myself that i would run for 15 minutes, and if I made it that far, I would be done and re-do this workout another day.

5 Minute warm-up, then I began running. After 5 minutes of running I was pretty sure I wasn't even going to make it to 10 minutes... but I plugged along and made it to 10. Then I made it to 15, and suddenly I was thinking I would definitely push it to 20. Then once I hit 20, I was feeling good and decided what's 5 more? AND I FINISHED IT... the whole 25 minutes. To be honest, I could have kept going. I couldn't believe it!

I kept looking down to see what my distance was, and I'd picture myself in the park at approximately that distance, and think about how far it would be to the end of the loop again. I also had my little treadmill tv on "America's Funniest Home Videos" which was helpful : )

I am so pumped and ready to get back to my pretty park trail and tackle week 7!

I am POWERFUL! I also have a cheerleader.

I ran for 20 minutes straight today! YES I DID! I thought it was going to be really, really hard seeing as I'd run twice for 8 minutes on Saturday morning and that was kind of hard... then twice for 10 minutes on Monday, also quite challenging. But I did it, and I feel very WOO HOO! about completing week 5 of c25k.

There's this little man at the park most days when I'm out there chugging along. He's short, Asian, probably in his 60's, and always wearing his tucked in white golf shirt, hat, sweatbands on the wrists, and mid-calf socks. Sometimes he's alone, sometimes he's with an older man or two, who I assume to be his relatives. He's always explaining to them that they need to move over on the trail when someone else is coming by, they all seem to always be in good spirits.

He's always happy with a "Hello" or "Good morning" if I'm walking, but he gets really cute when I'm running.

He can hear my footsteps behind him when I'm about to pass, so he always turns to look, begins clapping, and shouting, "WOO! WOO! YES! YOU SO POWERFUL! YES!"

Now, in the beginning, this was slightly embarrassing, I wasn't sure if he was "special", or a tourist, or just a really encouraging guy-- you don't normally expect random strangers to be cheering you down the path, you know? It's a funny story to tell at dinner. But then once I started talking about him, I noticed that my runs are far more exciting when I know I'm about to pass him...lol. Well today I was out super early, since I'm having to adjust my schedule to make sure I'm home by 7, when my kids wake up and start getting ready for school. I was on the last 7-8 minutes of the 20-minute run and really wearing down!

I came around a curve and passed a small parking lot to find him walking ahead of me with one of the older men. I found myself wondering if he'd tell me I was powerful today! As I passed him, he cheered me on, and GET THIS! He jogged for about a quarter mile with me cheering me on! I smiled, was too out of breath to really talk and was trying to just keep my feet moving through the fatigue and be finished. When we reached the part where the little roads cross (I assume he didn't want to leave the elderly relative too far behind or out of sight), he yelled, "THANK YOU!" and waved.

Thank ME? I yelled back, "Thank YOU!"

He makes me feel very She-Ra : )

One of these days when it cools off a bit I'll have to take him a little thank-you note and introduce myself.

Some gym machines that I'd kind of like to see go down in flames...

Maybe I'm just weak, but WHEW! This is always the first machine I tackle, so I have the most energy and spirit and can make it through both sets of 12 reps. And then I'm done and don't have to do it again.

My other nemesis o' the gym is the arm extension, which works your triceps-- the little muscle that runs from the back of your elbow to your armpit. This is one of the only exercises I've had to skip a couple of times because my little triceps were both soooo sore from the previous trip to the gym!!! I'm slowly but surely creeping up on the strength, though. When I first started, I couldn't even put any "extra" weight on this thing, but I'm up to 35 pounds. The "genetic betrayal that is my legacy" (quoting Heather Mooney from Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion) is flabby upper arms, though, so I soldier on ; )



I've been trying to do 2 days a week on the circuit training machines at the gym... that's going well. I want to build strength in addition to endurance, and each time I work out I kind of judge how challenging the machine was to me. If I feel like I can add another 5 pounds of resistance on there, I up the weight so that next time I'll have more resistance/challenge. If I can't really finish my reps/set, or it's "very difficult" for me to do so, I leave it at the same weight for next time, until I feel as though I'd like more of a challenge.

It's a nice way to see my strength training progress : )

c25k: Week 5, Day One

I really, truly wonder if running will ever be "easy" for me. If I'll ever be one of those people who just drifts through a 5-6 mile run with ease, one of those people to whom running 10 miles is a "long" run. I want to be one of those people. I'm really curious about this alleged "runner's high" euphoria that kicks in after a little while, because as I believe I've said before, the only euphoria I feel when running is the euphoria of being DONE. I wouldn't really actually call that euphoric though.

Week 5 is three runs that are 5 minutes each, with walking intervals inbetween. I can't wait to look back on this blog entry and say, "Remember when running for five minutes in a row was a challenge? Ha! Look at me now, mile after mile, like a machine, a gazelle..."

It was a push to get through all five of those minutes each time, but I don't feel exhausted (10 minutes post-cooldown)... I don't feel any pain anywhere... I wasn't sucking for air and having breathing difficulty even though it is dreadfully humid outside even before sunrise. I feel GOOD : ) I don't smell good or look good, but I feel great. I'm almost to the halfway point of c25k!!!!